All's Fair In Love and War (Phan)
by philgarita
Summary: Dan Howell has three simple rules for surviving his fear year of high school: don't lose your friends, don't piss off bullies, don't get involved in a love triangle. And he's managed to do all three on the first day, all for a boy named Phil.
1. Start Game

Dan's POV

"Daniel, have a wonderful first day, luv," mum chimed from the kitchen, dangling a brown paper sack with his name on it, "don't forget your lunch, dear."

He groaned at the cluster of tiny hearts she had doodled beside his name in sharpie, "Gee… thanks mum… but don't you think the hearts are a little kiddish? Please tell me you didn't put a note somewhere too."

She spun around and cupped his cheeks in her hands, gazing into his eyes with prideful sadness. "Oh, my little boy is all grown up!" she sighed, planting a kiss on his forehead, "too good for notes and the like. Tomorrow, you can have a perfectly plain grown-up lunch if you wish." He blushed and tugged away. He always felt so awkward when she got nostalgic.

"I'm not that grown up, mum. But I should go… I want to arrive half an hour early so I can find my class ahead of time."

She checked her watch and nodded, handing him the lunch. "Sounds good, darling. Now go, make some friends!"

"I already have friends!" I groaned, "I have PJ and Chris, what more could I need?"

With one final goodbye, I rushed out the door. It was already starting to get cool, the last hints of summer heat draining from the darkening sky. I fished through my backpack for a while until I found a black hoodie and slid it on, flipping the hood for maximum mysteriousness.

I hadn't realized how close I was to the school, since I had only had the time to listen to 'I'm Not Okay (I promise)' three times before I arrived at the tall, metal gates, which were vaguely reminiscent of a Hogwarts-esque design. I shut my eyes tightly and gulped as my fingers mindlessly traced the masonry of the stone border.

I felt sick as a dozen questions suddenly flooded my mind. What if I don't end up with PJ in my class? What if I get shitty options? What if I get lost? Late? get on the wrong side of a teacher? I -

I shook my head violently and pull my hood down, taking one final calming breath. "Is you a wuss?" I mumbled to myself. Convinced I wasn't, I placed one ginger step beyond the gates, followed by another and another.

I can do this.

I can -

"Stop!" someone shouted, and I froze. Slowly I craned my neck, searching for the source of the voice.

"Oh shit."

Out in the field, near the sports shack, four teens of varying sizes were swarmed around someone… and they seemed to be kicking him. Their dark hoodies concealed their faces, making me feel rather uncomfortable in my own.

"Please… stop it! You're hurting me!" I heard the voice sputter as I jogged towards them. I stopped a few feet away, hiding behind the shack. I had to assess the damage before I could do anything…

Besides… was it worth it? I didn't want to get on their bad side so early in the game, that's social suicide, but -

"P-please…"

My eyes widened as the boy on the ground moaned in pain and turned towards me, his hand outstretched… his eyes pleading. The bullies noticed immediately and turned towards me, though I managed to duck behind the wall before they saw me. My heart pounded in my chest as I realized what I had to do.

"Right," I mumbled to myself, "I'm going to regret this." The door to the shack was unlocked and I rushed in, searching around desperately for something… anything, to fight back with. Several mesh nets filled with volleyballs dangled from hooks on the ceiling, a few stray footballs were strewn across the floor, and a few discs were stacked on a shelf. Working quickly, I dove for a metal bat that was propped up against the wall and rushed back outside.

"Oi," I growled, clutching the bat tightly in my sweaty palms, "leave him alone."

Two of the bullies noticed the bat and took off immediately, sprinting at full-speed towards the school. The two larger ones, however, weren't very intimidated by a thin boy with a fringe and skinny jeans. I gripped the bat and darkened my gaze.

There was a moment of silence as the two dumb-faced thugs stared at me, at the bat, and then back at me. I caught a glimpse of the boy on the ground as he curled into a ball and moaned, blood trickling from his nose and cut lip.

My attention was pulled back to the bullies when they both began to chuckle. "Fuck off mate, you don't scare us."

"Scared your friends." I retorted.

"An' they'll pay for that later, but don't make me hurt you too," the other spoke, cracking his knuckles, "you look like this boy, y'know. Both got the emo hair and the faggy jeans." I groaned internally. Of course, more homophobic slurs. Just great!

"I wasn't aware my jeans had a sexuality, but thanks." I could see their shoulders tense, which gave me an idea. I'd have to think fast. It was clear that even this bat wouldn't be enough to hurt them, since I had the strength of a six-year-old. "So if you idiots have a problem with me, then go right ahead and try and catch me, twats. Or are you too utterly stupid to understand a simple command? Come on boys!" I spoke in a high-pitched, eager voice, as if I was calling over a dog and not two gigantic brutes, "come on! Come here!"

"Get him!" the taller one hissed, and they both lunged towards me. Startled, I swung the bat as hard as I could, which connected with his side, winding him and leaving him gasping on the ground, clutching his side in pain.

I dove for the boy, who was still lying there, and grabbed him by the hand, pulling him onto his feet. "Can you run?" I asked worriedly as I helped him up. He winced in pain.

"I-I don't think so…" he whimpered. The remaining lad, who had paused to help his cohort, sneered at us and rose to his feet, walking towards us with a malicious grin.

"Get on my back." I commanded quietly.

"W-what? I-"

"Now!" I yelped as the bully drew nearer. The boy, still dazed, leapt on and though he was quite a bit taller than me, I was too focused on escaping with my life to worry about my aching back and wobbly knees. As we reached the entrance, I set the boy down and helped him up the stairs. The bully, who had been jogging after us, grunted in frustration between pants and gasps for air.

"This isn't over, queers." he spat as we rushed inside. I slid down the wall, breathing heavily. The boy leaned beside me, and we sat in comfortable silence for a spell.

Eventually, he caught his breath and managed a weak but grateful smile. "I… thank you… I thought they were gonna kill me!"

I shook my head and smiled. "No problem, I couldn't just leave you there… what did you do to get beat up before the first day even started?"

"They went to my primary as well. The bullied me all through last year…" he sighed, "it still hurts a ton, but I'm used to it." He absentmindedly wiped at his still-bleeding nose.

"Let's go to the bathroom to get you cleaned up…" I said worriedly, guiding him towards the men's toilet, "will you be okay? Are you going to go to class looking like this?" I gestured to a few bruises that were forming on his cheeks and nose.

He took a wad of tissue paper and used it to plug the bleeding, wetting another piece and using it to dab at the dried blood. "No," he said with a faint shake of his head as he began rummaging around in his knapsack, "I came prepared." After a few more moments, he withdrew a small compactor and open it, revealing foundation.

It was an extremely pale tone, just like his porcelain skin. He began to blend the makeup over his bruises until they had almost completely vanished. If I weren't any the wiser, I'd say he was perfectly fine.

"That's impressive! But…" I trailed off.

"But what?" he asked, placing the compactor back in the bag and slinging it over his shoulder.

"Well, you know, have you tried telling someone? A teacher? Your parents?"

He simply chuckled sadly. "Of course I have. I've tried everything. But the more I struggle, the more I sink." He fell silent and I swear I could see the sting of tears in his eyes. After a few moments, he spoke again in a much cheerier tone. "I'm Phil Lester by the way." He extended a hand.

I shook it with a smile. "It's nice to meet you Phil. Call me Dan."

"Well, Dan, thanks for saving my life." And with a gentle smirk, he had vanished from the bathroom and into the hallway, just as the bell rang.

Phil, huh?

I like that name.


	2. Tutorial Level

I stood in silent awe for a moment at the space where Phil once stood. I could still smell the faintest hint of his cologne in the air, not too strong, not too flashy. It was just right. I inhaled deeply, and then nearly choked on the air.

"Oh shit!" I shrieked. The bell just rang. I'm going to be fucking late on my first day, kill me now! I honestly felt like sinking to my knees and waiting for Satan to pull me down to hell where I belong, but instead I scrambled for my stuff and sprinted out of the bathroom at top speed, rushing past unfamiliar faces.

I reached back into a side pocket and pulled out a slip with my time table written on it sloppily in blue pen.

French - Room 12

Fortunately, it was on this floor. I dashed down the hall, counting down the door numbers. "Twelve, twelve, twelve…" I muttered beneath my breath, "twelve! Thank god!" Undetected, I slid through the door just before the teacher stalked in, her eyes trained on an attendance list.

I was late to the party, so all the good seats were taken. Even worse, there was no sign of PJ or Chris, so I suppose it didn't matter either way. Hastily, I scanned the room for the best seat I could find… some sort of familiar face… anything!

Then I froze. Staring at me with icy blue eyes from the very back row… was Phil. He was at the window seat, his cheek resting in his hand. The sunlight that filtered in through the half-drawn blinds cast a shimmer on his gentle smile. I felt a wave of relief wash over me. I beelined towards him and set my things down. "M-mind if I sit here?" I asked quietly.

He nodded vigorously.

"S-so you do mind?"

He paused for a moment, confused, before giggling. "Heh, no, no, I meant you can sit with me Dan. What am I going to say? No, you can't sit with me person who saved me from four attackers?" he joked, just barely audible to assure nobody overheard.

I leaned back in my chair and stretched. "So are you good at french?" His eyes widened and he merely shook his head, which was all I needed to see to know he most definitely was not. "Me neither," I sighed, "I just did it for the easy gra -"

I was interrupted as the professor cleared her throat and smiled, peering over the class from behind her red, horn-rimmed spectacles. "Bonjour! Je m'appelle Mme. Dubois, et je vais vous enseignez cette année!" She smiled through scarlet red lipstick.

My jaw fell open and Phil and I exchanged a worried sideways glance. What the hell did she just say? Her name is Madame Bois or something. That's all I got.

"Well we're fucked." I mumbled. Phil merely nodded.

As soon as we stepped out of class, Phil grabbed me by the sleeve and pulled me around the corner to a small, isolated hall.

"Uh, Phil, what are you -"

"Shh, I've wanted to do this all class."

"What? Phil, what are you on about?" I asked, blushing profusely. There was a flutter of nervousness in my stomach. What was he planning on doing? I winced as he reached out and…

Fixed my tie?

"You did it completely wrong. You basically tied it like a knot, silly."

I breathed a sigh of disappointment relief. "Yeah… I'm pretty bad at it." I chuckled as he stepped back, flattening the tie and smiling.

"Good, now which class do you have?" he asked, peering over my shoulder as I unfolded the time table once more. "Free period? Fuck yes!" I grinned smugly at him. "Haha, you have class and I don't."

He shook his head and smirked. "Actually…" Removing a white paper from his jean pocket, he held it up and gestured to this period's slot, which also read 'free'. "I'm lucky to have at least two classes with you, I don't really have… other friends."

"See, I genuinely find that hard to believe because you're quite nice. How about you eat lunch with my friends and I today? PJ and Chris would love to meet you, I reckon!" A smile flickered on his lips, his whole face lighting up with excitement.

"Dan… I don't want to impose." he said softly as we began to stroll down the now-emptied halls. I rolled my eyes.

"Don't mention it," I said, "now, I think this would be a good time to find my locker, my stuff is really heavy. I'm locker 286. You?"

"290, that's not too far. I'll take you to them! I know my way around this school as much as attending the open house and snooping around a bit allows…" I followed closely after him as he took a right turn, passed a glistening trophy cabinet and a few class photos, and strode into a long strip of lockers. "Yours is around here somewhere."

After almost an entire hour of wandering the halls chatting or just enjoying each other's company in silence, the bell sounded and students began to file out of their classes and crowd the halls.

"This is where I leave you. Math class, wish me luck…" Phil sighed.

I smiled reassuringly, placing a hand on his shoulder gently. "You'll do great, Phil. Besides, we have lunch after. Meet me at the lockers and I'll take you to meet my friends, I promise. Alright?" Phil smiled once more, his face beaming like a ray of sunshine.

"Alright, Dan. I'd like that."

I could hardly take my eyes of his as he vanished into the crowd.

History was as boring as I had expected. The teacher was bald except for a few tufts of white hair, and he struggled to make out even the largest of writing. However, Chris was in my class, and every time I felt like I was just about to collapse from the monotony of it all, he'd mutter some joke or impression and I'd have to struggle to stifle my laughter. Thankfully, he kept me going.

"So, I just realized we don't really have a usual spot to sit at anymore, do we?"

Chris shook his head. "PJ told me he found a nice shady spot under a tree out in the field… we're supposed to meet him out there."

The field…

Phil…

"Phil!" I yelped, "shit, I nearly forgot to ask. I met someone this morning erm… in class… and I was wondering if he could eat with us. He doesn't really have anyone else to -"

"Of course." Chris said through a mouthful of his sandwich. "Where is he?"

I stopped in my tracks and pointed. "There." Phil was standing there, leaning against his locker with his arms folded. He looked anxious. "Phil?" I shouted, waving at him. He turned towards me and grinned, his worried look melting away immediately.

"Dan! I was worried you'd forget…"

"Of course I didn't!" I chimed, ignoring Chris' sharp elbow digging into my side. Okay, so I did, momentarily.

Chris took a step forward and bowed, stretching out his hand to shake. "Chris Kendall, at your service," he winked, "I'm a Libra. Charmed, I'm sure."

"Aquarius." Phil laughed, taking his hand gingerly and shaking it. "Thanks for letting me eat with you guys. It sucks to spend the first day alone."

Chris walked ahead of us, leading the way to the so-called 'perfect spot'. Phil and I chatted quietly behind him. What I learned today: he has spaghetti for lunch, he really likes lions (judging from the lion lunch box which is absolutely adorable), and his favorite color is blue. The more you know!

As soon as we stepped outside, I noticed Phil tense up. He glanced towards the shed nervously, fiddling with his hands. I had almost completely forgotten about the bruises, since he covered them so well. I nudged him gently and smiled, mouthing 'are you alright?'.

He nodded but… I knew it wasn't sincere.

Peej was right as always, there was, in fact, a broad aspen tree. Beneath it, I could see PJ's figure sat cross-legged and waving frantically. His curly hair was hidden under a beanie. I quickened my pace to greet him, Phil following closely at my heels.

Sitting down by the tree, I patted the grass beside me, gesturing for Phil to sit.

"Who's this?" PJ asked with a smile, waving to Phil.

"PJ, Phil… he's a new friend," I leaned in and planted a kiss on Peej's cheek, causing him to blush, "Phil, this is Pasquale…"

"Oh shut up! I hate my real name!" he laughed.

"Alright, alright," I sighed, rolling my eyes, "this is PJ, my boyfriend."


	3. 2-Player Mode

Phil's POV

"Dan, wait!" I yelled, jogging down the stairs after him. Dan glanced up from his phone, looking around wildly until his eyes found mine and he smiled. He leaned against the stone wall, one hand in his pocket, where he had placed his phone, the other mindlessly tugging at his tie. I rushed over to him. "Glad I caught you! I just wanted to thank you for earlier on… you saved me from a few broken bones, I bet."

He smiled, but I noticed a hint of worry in his voice. "If only I had gotten there sooner… will you be alright?" Ignoring the throbbing pain throughout my body, I nodded reassuringly. I don't want him worrying about me.

"What's really bothering me is your tie. You've undone it again!" I tsked, taking a step forward and adjusting it. He smiled as he watched my hands at work, until I felt him tense and pull away. My eyes flickered over to wear he was staring, rubbing his neck anxiously.

PJ stood at the top o the stairs just outside the school, his arms folded. He watched us closely and I gulped. Peej lingered at the top of the stairs for a moment, his eyes fixed on me, his lips pursed. As he began to stroll towards us, Dan hurriedly changed the subject.

"Erm, Phil, I see you have the new Nokia phone… pretty… s-swish…" he stammered, followed by a nervous chuckle. His eyes kept darting back to his now-suspicious boyfriend. Playing along, I dug it out of my pocket and handed it to him.

"Yeah, just got it actually. Sort of a 'high school' gift from my mum -"

"Hey Dan!" PJ chimed, strutting past me and giving him a hug. Dan quickly lowered the phone, a defensive, bewildered look in his eyes. Had he been typing something? No… it couldn't be. PJ's smile faded and he turned to me. "And Phil." he stated flatly, looking me up and down through a partial glare.

Dan, obviously extremely uncomfortable, handed the Nokia back and smiled weakly at me. "I should get going now, bye Phil," he turned and pecked PJ's lips, "bye… Peej." Pulling his own phone out of his pocket, he glanced back at me one last time before vanishing beyond the stone wall.

I smiled awkwardly. "Bye PJ, it was nice meeting you." I began to walk away, but was pulled back sharply by the sleeve. He had wrapped his fingers tightly around my arm by now, his nails digging it to my skin.

"Phil, can we have a little chat?" he hissed. Trembling slightly, I turned back to him and nodded softly. He held on tightly until the last remaining students climbed onto the busses or went their separate ways. Promptly letting go, he smiled meanly. "What do you think you're doing?"

I shook my head in confusion. "I-I… I don't know what you're t-talking about…"

"Bullshit!" he snarled, "Dan is amazing, he's everything I've ever wanted. He's kind, funny, handsome, and you are not taking him away just because he's your knight in shining armor and you're some smitten little schoolgirl."

I shoved him away, staring in disbelief. "I'm not trying to steal your boyfriend, PJ! You don't have to act so paranoid."

He stared for a moment, his piercing eyes intent on mine. After a long silence, he laughed cruelly. "Oh my god, you poor boy! You don't even realize what you're doing, do you? The lingering glances, the tie-fixing? You're infatuated because he saved you, that's all!"

I clenched my hand into a fist, gritting my teeth. "I'm not infatuated!" I shouted, "he may have saved me but -". My mouth fell open slightly, my hand unfurling, my eyes narrowing. "PJ, how did you know I was attacked?"

His smile faded for a moment, but quickly returned. "Dan told me, of course."

My heart sank. "What? No, no, no… he wouldn't! He knew I wanted that kept secret."

PJ frowned sympathetically. "Look… Phil, I'm sorry about this. I get jealous easily. But… I'm sure Dan didn't mean any harm when he told everyone."

"Everyone?" I choked. PJ nodded grimly, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. I felt too weak to pull away. My anger towards him had faded, now redirecting itself towards Dan. "I... think I should go home now." I gulped, trying to swallow the lump that was forming in my throat. Tears stung my eyes, but I blinked them away and turned swiftly on my heel, sprinting away.

How could he? Dan knew I covered those bruises for a god damn reason!

I wiped at my eyes. Maybe I should have been more clear? I… no, no. He should've known. I should've known this is what I get for trusting somebody.

I reached my house and flew up the steps, throwing the door open and slamming it behind me. I lowered my shoulder, allowing my bag to slide off my arm and onto a hook. Mum poked her head from the kitchen and smiled.

"Phillip! How was your day, dearie?" she wandered over and planted a kiss on my cheek, drying her hands on a dish cloth. I forced on a smile and nodded eagerly, feeling at least some relief to be back home.

"It was good!" I chimed, perhaps a little too happily. I began to loosen my tie as I climbed up the stairs. As I was half-way up, she appeared again.

"Oh, I'm so happy to hear that, luv. Did you make any friends?"

My smile faltered, and I reached down to where the phone bulged in my pocket. "I... don't know yet." Before she could reply, I quickly scaled the last few steps and ducked into my room. I dug out my phone and began to flip through it.

What?

I stopped scrolling and frowned. There was a new chat with an unknown number I didn't remember ever entering.

 **hello?**

 **who's this?**

I sent the message and waited, flopping onto my bed with a comforted sigh. I shut my eyes for a moment, but was jarred back awake by a faint ring.

 **Hey, I'm guessing this is Phil?**

 **yeah…**

 **but who r u?**

 **Guess :D**

I smiled softly. I knew who it was.

 **Dan?**

 **how did I get ur number?**

 **Well what did you think I was doing on your phone?**

 **Idk. Trying to find my nudes? XD**

I laughed, rolling onto my back and smiling. I quickly changed the contact to Dan :3

Dan :3 is typing…

 **pHILLIP**

 **how did you know? ;)**

 **So how was your first day?**

 **better, thanks to u**

 **I somehow managed to avoid death**

 **I, too, enjoy not-dying**

 **XD lolzor**

I groaned aloud, running my fingers through my hair.

 **did u just…**

 **say lolzor?**

 **Don't judge me!**

 **But how did you and PJ get along?**

 **Do you… like him?**

 **Yeah!**

 **Yeah, he's great**

 **ur lucky**

I bit my lip and rolled up my sleeve, wincing slightly at the tenderness. Five small, circular bruises where his fingers had dug into my wrist.

 **So… Dan?**

 **Yeah…?**

 **:/ Is everything alright?**

 **Yeah, I was just wondering**

 **u didn't tell anyone about this morning, right?**

Dan :3 is typing…

 **No! Of course not!**

 **Why, did you want me to?**

 **really?**

 **it's just… pj told me u did**

Dan :3 is typing…

I swallowed, my throat felt dry. I left the phone on the bedside table and quickly darted downstairs and into the kitchen. Mum wasn't anywhere to be seen, so I assumed she was out getting groceries or something.

Reaching into the cupboard, I retrieved a clear, grooved glass and filled it with tap water. When I returned to my room and traded the cup for my phone, my heart sank.

 **Don't lie, Phil.**


	4. Mini-Boss

Dan's POV

"I'm really glad you could come over after all, PJ. I thought you weren't going to show up..." I trailed off, biting my tongue. I shouldn't have brought that up. I handed him a can of coke, which he took with a smile, still glancing down at his phone. "Who are you texting?"

PJ set it down quickly, almost too quickly. "Phil," he said, regaining his cool smile, "thanks for entering my number into his phone like I asked. I know it would make you more comfortable if the two of us got along."

His phone buzzed and instinctively I glanced down to the lit-up screen, stealing a quick glance at the text even though I hadn't intended to.

I'm so sorry, Dan, I didn't mean

Was as far as I got before I quickly looked away, realizing how invasive it was. Besides, I must have misread something. Why would he say he's sorry to me if he was talking to Peej, and sorry about what? PJ reached over and turned off his phone.

"I'll reply later," he smiled, "and why did you doubt I would come over?"

I shook my head. Knew I shouldn't have brought it up. "Oh, you know, I just felt like things were a little tense... I just hope you aren't jealous, Phil is merely a new friend."

PJ grinned and kissed my cheek, running his fingers lovingly through my hair. "Danny, it means a lot that you worry about that, but there's no need. I know you and Phil are just friends." He glanced sideways briefly, his eyes shooting daggers towards the cell phone on my bedside table. I didn't think much of it.

His kisses began to trail down my neck and I squeezed my eyes shut. "Besides," he mumbled in between, "you love me, right?" My eyes flickered open while his remained tightly shut, and I found myself staring past him... staring at the phone.

"Of course."

 _Annual School Production:_

 **Romeo and Juliet**

 _Written by William Shakespeare, directed by Ms. Sauga_

 _Auditions begin Monday next week!_

Peej and I walked hand-in-hand happily, ignoring the several crude remarks uttered around us. We're in love, I don't care. It was already lunchtime and I hadn't spoken with Phil all day, and not for the lack of trying. He seemed to inch away from me, but there was a longing in his eyes. Had I done something wrong?

I glanced at the sign-up sheet and pulled PJ back beside me as he nearly cruised back. I bee-lined towards it, dragging him along.

"Thinking of signing up?"

I shook my head, uncapping the pen and leaning forward. "No, we are signing up," I chimed, squeezing his hand, "together." His eyes widened and he snatched the pen away.

"No way, no how!" he shouted, hiding it behind his back. "Dan, I can't act!" I lunged for the pen, wrestling it back out of his hands.

"Yes, you can, babe. We both can. I know it's your dream to make movies, short films and the like... how are you going to do that without acting?" He sighed in resignation as I wrote both our names neatly on two separate lines.

"By staying behind the camera, Dan... I do want to act, but..." he blushed, "I'm rubbish at it, to be perfectly honest." I frowned, gently raising his face until his eyes were locked with mine.

"No, you're not. You only will be with that attitude..." He smiled softly, which was reassuring. "Besides, look! Chris already signed up. Practices will be like hanging out." PJ stared past me, his smile trembling, on the verge of disappearing.

"Speaking of hanging out, look who's here!" he said softly, his voice growing dull. I turned to see Phil, who quickly ducked behind a wall. PJ and I exchanged a look and he just shook his head. "Just go." he commanded bitterly. I thanked him wordlessly with a slight nod of my head and jogged after Phil.

"Phil, I..." I trailed off, my words caught in my throat. He looks so... afraid. His eyes swimming. Bitter, hurt. His lip trembled in silent prayer that he could vanish into his hoodie. "What's wrong? Have you been avoiding me?"

He quietly shook his head, his fingers fiddling with the drawstrings of his hoodie. "No... I'm just..." I reached out and grasped his wrist gently, reassuringly, but he winced and pulled away. He began to tear up and pulled his sleeve up to reveal several still-purple bruises wrapped around his arm like a hand.

"Oh my god! I'm sorry, did the bu -" I lowered my voice, "the bullies do this to you?"

"N-no," he stammered, concealing the wounds once more, "it's him, Dan." He leaned out from behind the wall and gestured gingerly to where Peej stood, chatting up Chris about what I expected was the play. "PJ."

I stared in disbelief for a moment before pulling Phil back behind the wall with me, narrowly missing his my boyfriend's detection. My boyfriend. He wouldn't do this. But then again...

The text.

 **I'm so sorry, Dan, I didn't mean to -**

I whirled around to face him, and he stared down at his feet, avoiding my gaze. "I-I-I know you don't believe me. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything!" he choked.

"Why wouldn't I believe you?"

He glanced up at me, tears stinging his eyes. "You didn't last night..." He fumbled in his pocket for a moment before finding his phone and practically shoving it into my hand. It was open to a conversation titled 'Dan :3'. I squinted at the name, and then at the words.

 **Don't lie to me, Phil.**

 **I'm so sorry, Dan, I didn't mean to insult him.**

 **I'm sure it was a misunderstanding.**

 **Just stay away from us.**

 **PJ and I are happy.**

I turned to Phil in disbelief. Silently, I handed the phone back, before turning on my heel and practically jogging down the hall towards PJ.

"Wait! Dan -" Phil yelped, trying and failing to grab at my arm and restrain me. I stared straight forward. Chris noticed my glare and tapped Peej on the shoulder. He turned just as I forced him to the wall.

"Dan! What the hell?" Chris gasped, rushing toward me. I pushed him away, not too forcefully. I released PJ, but continued to stare into his eyes.

"How could you?" I demanded.

Several students had begun to notice and crowd around, a few even began chanting 'fight'. After commanding them to kindly piss off, I turned back to PJ. Phil had slowly slunk down the hallway, doing his best to avoid Peej's gaze.

"D-Dan, seriously, I have n-no idea what you're -"

"Oh shut up," I groaned. I stared at PJ pocket, where the rounded, shiny edge of his phone stuck out. "Give me your phone. Now." Trembling, he handed me the flip phone. I stared down at the chat that was open, wishing with all my heart that this was all a dream.

Chris' eyes widened and he backed away. He seemed to notice how uncomfortable Phil was, because he leaned over to him and whispered something before they both turned and left. PJ's lip began to tremble and he sobbed.

"I-I'm sorry, Dan! I'm sorry..."

"Why would you do something so awful? You told me to set up a chat between you two so you could become friends... but instead you impersonate me and tell my new friend to fuck off? Are you mad? What were you thinking?"

He clutched my shirt and held me close, his eyes pleading. I pushed him off and his eyes filled with tears. "I'm sorry! I was jealous... the way you looked at phil after just one day s-scared me. What would happen if you grew even closer, huh?"

I shook my head bitterly, a lump growing in my throat. I stroked his cheek. "Words cannot describe how I feel about you. I wish this wasn't real, but I can't just stand idly by as you try and control my life over paranoia." I pecked him on the cheek, unable to contain myself. I don't want to say goodbye.

"D-Dan please forgive me... I won't do anything like that e-ever again, I swear!"

"I don't know if I can believe you anymore," I backed away, "I... think we should break up."

He stared at me in awe, his mouth opening and closing as words seemed to fail him. After a moment, he gave up on words altogether and merely buried his face in his hands, muffling his sobs as he slid down the wall and onto the floor.

"Goodbye Peej." I spoke softly, lingering for a moment before turning and walking away.


	5. Saved

**Phil's POV**

"Thanks for hanging out with me, Phil," Dan said softly, adjusting the straps of his backpack as we walked, "my mum insisted I see my friends since I've been so depressed lately." I shoved my hands into my pockets, staring intently at our shadows cast onto the sidewalk.

"It's no problem. Again, I'm really sorry this all happened..."

"Why are you sorry?"

I gazed up at him sadly. "Because if it weren't for me you wouldn't have to be depressed." We both fell silent. _No arguments there._ We walked for a few minutes more, containing the comfortable silence until Dan stopped me.

"This is it! Home sweet home," he gestured to a tall, thin building with tan walls and a black shingled roof, "it's not much, but it's -"

"Awesome!" I gasped. He grinned to himself as he fumbled for his keys, finally unlocking the door.

"Mum?" he yelled as he stepped in, listening for a moment, "she must be out. And my dad works pretty late..." He wandered over to the fridge and pried it open, thinking for a moment before selecting a ribena. "Want one?"

I nodded eagerly, grabbing a can. "So we survived the first week of school... one of many..."

Dan cracked open the can and sighed. " _Barely_ survived. I lost my boyfriend."

I groaned internally. _Dammit, Phil! You're supposed to make him feel better. Think, think..._ "Hey! Do you want to go up to your room?" I suggested. I saw him perk up slightly, but his smile was still half-forced. With a nod he took my hand and led me up the stairs. I felt like he didn't even notice he was holding it, that it was more of a subconscious way of comforting himself. I didn't resist.

He threw the door open and sat down on his bed, gesturing excitedly all around him. The white walls were littered with posters and paper scraps, his shelf stacked with books and a small, squared TV was rested on a small table at the food of his duvet next to a precariously-balanced stack of discs. It was messy, with a few clothes scattered around the floor and an unmade bed, but quite nice.

"Do you like Muse?" I gasped, pointing to a poster of the band.

His eyes grew wild. "Are you kidding me? Them and My Chemical Romance are practically my entire life. Nobody understands my love for music. And Deathnote." He scooted to edge of the bed and began sorting through the discs.

"Deathnote?" I repeated in confusion, "Never heard of it." Dan fell eerily silent for a moment as his shuffling suddenly halted. Slowly, he turned towards me, pure shock plastered on his face.

"WHAT? You _do_ know Deathnote, right? The anime?"

I shook my head, slightly terrified of his coming reaction. "Anime? Like... Pokémon?" Dan merely shook his head and disappointment and zipped back to the TV, popping in a disc.

"Right. It's time for you to be educated on the wonders of Japanese culture."

I stared at him and smiled as the screen, and his eyes, flickered to life. For once since the incident, he appeared genuinely happy. Not the flicker of warmth I noticed when I made a joke or doodled a smile on his paper, but actual joy. I couldn't help but smile as I slid onto the bed beside him.

"Dan?" a voice sounded in tune with a knock on the door, "dear, you've been up here for hours! What do you want for dinner?" Dan and I scrambled for the remote, quickly muting Light during one of his God-complex rants. I had to commend him, Dan had a great taste in shows. I was already in love with the series after marathoning as many episodes as we could.

"Erm..." he looked to me, "d'you want pizza, Philly?" I nodded, and Dan walked over to the door and opened it. I quickly threw off the blanket and sat up on the bed. "How about pizza?"

"Sounds alright, I didn't feel much like cookin' anyways. What kind would you like, luv?"

"Pepperoni!" I said a little too insistently. Fortunately, his mum didn't seem to notice the accidentally demanding tone.

"Ace!" his mum exclaimed a little too forcefully, causing Dan to wince. He quickly shut the door, shouting his thanks, before groaning.

"She thinks using lame slang words will make her a cool mom."

I couldn't help but giggle as I pressed play, climbing back into the warm, blankety cocoon. "I dunno, Daniel, I think your mum's pretty _ace_ already." I nodded, winking slyly. "Yeah, I'd hit that." Dan laughed, pushing me over and stuffing a pillow over my face.

"Oh, shut up!" There was another knock at the door. Groaning, I quickly paused Deathnote again and rolled over in the bed. Dan, clearly too lazy to stand, simply grumbled 'enter'. We watched as the door slowly inched open and I shot up as a small, brown-haired kid that basically looked like a cutesy carbon copy of the teen beside me poked his head in the room.

He looked at Dan, and then at me with bewildered eyes. "Dan?" He smirked mischievously. "Is this your new boyfriend? Peej 2.0?" Dan groaned, blushing.

"Adrian," he hissed, "this is Phil, he's a _friend._ Phil, this is my brother, Adrian. He's ten." I smiled at him and he waved. "So what do you want, dweeb?" he asked playfully. Adrian kicked at the ground as he held up a sheet of paper. I rubbed my eyes and squinted, realizing it was his maths homework. The page was filled with eraser marks and lines where he had clearly struggled to answer.

"Um... it's just some homework... it's okay, you're busy -"

Dan moved to the edge of the bed, rubbing his hands together and glancing to me. "Hey," he whispered, "do you mind if I... handle this? It won't take long..." I nodded softly and grinned as we both stood. He walked over to Adrian, ruffled his hair and shot me one last grateful smile before vanishing into his little brother's room.

My eyes lingered on the spot where he stood and I found myself unable to stop beaming. Dan was extremely sweet to his brother, like my older brother was to me when he still lived with us. He was out and about in his own flat by now, and I missed him. I listened intently to the murmurs from Adrian's room, Dan whispering words of encouragement and patiently explaining the formulas.

After a few minutes I grew restless and began to pace around the room, gently tracing my fingers along the posters and papers. I stopped, my breath shuddering, as my finger grazed against a loosely-taped picture and sent it fluttering to the carpeted ground. I hesitated before picking it up. It was Dan, looking slightly younger and a great deal happier, his arms wrapped lovingly around an equally happy PJ. I stared at it for a moment, feeling a pit sink in my stomach.

 _It's all my fault he's so miserable._

"What are you looking at?" Dan asked as he stepped into the room, peering over my shoulder. I gasped and spun around, nearly jumping out of my skin. Nervously, I handed the photo to him. He glanced down, his smile quickly fading. Wordlessly, his expression remaining stoic, he pinched the paper between his fingers and tore it clean in half.

I stared down in dread at his trembling fingers, then at his quivering lips. His face grew hot and crinkled with rage. He continued to tear the paper to shreds until the scraps of paper were too tiny to destroy any more. He watched, red-faced, as the pieces scattered over the floor.

"D-Dan?" I whimpered, reaching out to him, "are you okay?"

He pushed my hand away. "Do I look like I'm _fucking_ okay?" he snapped, his voice cracking half-way through. I rushed over as he slid down the wall and buried his head in his arms, sobbing into the sleeves of his hoodie. "I'm not... I'm not okay..."

Unable to say anything that mattered, I merely wrapped my arms tightly around him and rocked back and forth until the sobs subsided.

And I didn't let go.

After a few minutes in silence, I opened my eyes, which I hadn't realized I had been squeezing shut. My vision was blurry for a moment, and I blinked away the haze until Dan's face came clearly into view. He rubbed at his bloodshot eyes and laughed gently, a saddened smile appearing momentarily. We stared at each other for a moment, and I noticed a flicker of excitement in his eyes.

Suddenly, he grabbed me by my tie, which I had left on from the school uniform, and pulled our lips together. My eyes widened and I stared at him in shock as he held it for a moment, and then slowly and reluctantly pulled away.

The door swung open and Dan pushed me away, blushing furiously. His mum didn't seem to have a clue. "Pizza's here, luvs. Come down when you're ready." she chimed and gently shut the door.

My heart was pounding.


	6. Critical Hit

_Fireworks._

 _That's what I felt when we kissed._

I fumbled with my tie, fixing it hastily. In my rush, even I had tied it incorrectly. I gulped audibly, not that there was anyone around to hear. I was early, as always. I liked it that way. It helped me avoid the bullies most times, and when it didn't, at least I always had time to cover up.

Part of me wanted so badly to see Dan as I turned the corner, glancing up from his phone and waving. Smiling. Another part was dreading seeing him again. The kiss was so rushed and now I was nervous. What if we didn't have the same chemistry the second time? What if there wouldn't even be a next time?

I shook my head as I walked by. Of course there will be. Every famous love story started quickly, because that's how intense the passion was. _Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Romeo and Juliet..._

 _Wait a minute._

"Romeo and Juliet..."

I nodded.

"...but gay?" The drama teacher repeated, staring at me with bewilderment. She was young, freshly graduated from the looks of it even though she had taught here for a couple of years. She tapped her fake nails impatiently on her desk, looking slightly unimpressed. I blushed, realizing how bad of an idea this was a little too late.

"I-I'm sorry, it was a j -"

"I like it," she said with a thoughtful smirk, "it's... innovative. The school board makes me do these boring old Shakespeare plays every year. This is like one giant F -" she paused mid-swear and glanced back fro my approval, to which I nodded. " _...fuck you to the school board._ " she finished quietly.

I gulped and smiled, still shaken to the core. We stood in silence for a moment. "Romeo and Julius!" I blurted, to which she grinned broadly.

"I like your thinking, kid... what's your name?"

"Phil." I said, my nervousness flickering and dying away almost immediately. I always love laid-back teachers like her.

"You're not in any of my classes, are you?" she asked, flipping through a list of students and shaking her head. 'Pity, that is. Quite like you. Tell me, Phil, what brought you this idea?" She chuckled knowingly. "A boy, isn't it?"

My cheeks grew hot and I scratched at my head. "Erm..." All I could manage was a weak nod, only causing her wicked grin to grow.

"Who?" she squealed, leaning in closer.

"E-erm... well..."

Solemnly, she crossed her heart. "I swear I won't tell. Who am I gonna gossip to, the faculty?"

"His name's Dan and -" I was immediately interrupted by a prolonged gasp, as she slammed her hands down on the table in excitement and spread her fingers apart.

"Dan Howell? He's a looker, isn't he?" she grinned and nodded, "if I didn't like girls, I would." There was a moment of silence before she retracted her hands and held them instead to hide her face. "Oh god, I keep forgetting I can't say stuff like that about students. Or _anyone_. Forgive me, dear. But, on the bright side, I'm going to get fired eventually for stuff like that, so I might as well..."

She marched over to the white board, snatching a black marker and uncapping it. She paused in thought for a moment before writing in large, neat letters:

 **Romeo and Julius**

 _ **A Phil and Karen Production**_

"Well, I might as well go out with a bang!"

 **meet me at the tree :)**

I sent the text, my thumb hovering over the phone expectantly. After waiting a minute without a reply, I set it in my pocket and place along my bags. Since it was surprisingly warm for England, I wrestled off my jacket and hung it on a low-hanging branch.

 _Five minutes..._ I felt a buzz in my pocket and quickly fished my phone out, my stomach fluttering. My smile quickly faded, however.

✓ _Read at 12:10pm_

I gulped, stuffing it back into my pocket. The buzz was merely a Twitter notification. _Y'know, he probably read it and just didn't reply because he's already on his way._

Feeling only slightly reassured, I decided to mindlessly pick at my lunch. A sandwich, a sliced apple... I tucked it away quickly. I didn't feel hungry at all, more so sick to my stomach, like a pit of anxiety in my stomach.

 _He's not coming, is he?_

Sighing, I picked up my jacket from the branch, dusting off pieces of dead bark. I slung it over my shoulder, spinning around only to be greeted by an all-black figure slowly approaching from the far side of the field. He was staring intently at the group, seemingly not noticing my frantic waving.

"Dan!" I shouted, causing his head to jerk up violently, as if I had jarred him out of a daydream. His eyes were frantic and he quickly avoided my gaze as I jogged closer. "I thought you weren't coming..."

He smiled faintly. "Why wouldn't I?"

I stared at him for a moment, and I could see his cheeks flush noticeably as his eyes flickered upwards momentarily to meet mine. I chuckled as I set my jacket back to its makeshift hanger. "I swear you're doing it on purpose now."

He glanced up in shock. "W-what?"

"Your tie," I pointed to it, "it's even worse than before. Here, let me -" I reached forward to fix it up, only to be stopped as his hand shot up to my wrist, clutching it tightly. His nails dug in, though I knew he didn't intend it as menacingly as PJ had.

"Stop this, Phil." he said coldly, lowering his hand. Mine flopped to my side, going limp. I suddenly felt weak all over, a sinking feeling clawing at my chest.

"W-what?" I sputtered, shaking my head. "What are you on about?" My clueless stare only seemed to frustrate him more. He fumbled for words for a moment, and I saw the anger drain from his face. His voice went soft, and his gaze seemed suppressed. Sympathetic.

"Stop lying to yourself that there's something here."

My palms felt clammy and I clasped them together, rubbing my hands nervously. I felt a lump forming in my throat. "I-I don't understand..." I whimpered, "you kissed me, I just thought..."

"That was a bloody mistake!" he snapped, waving his arms in the air. "Have you ever heard of a rebound? You were my crutch, okay? Peej and I split up and I was lonely, confused and vulnerable, and I need someone. You were there. But I don't need you anymore!" He no longer looked at me. He seemed to rage at nothing, like shouting to a wall, his hands clenched into fists he wouldn't throw. "besides, it was just a kiss, it didn't mean a damn thing. It's not special."

" _Dan._ " I choked, my voice breaking.

"What?" he hissed, staring into my eyes. And for the first time since the kiss he actually saw me. I blinked away tears I didn't realize had been welling up.

"That was my first kiss, you know. It may not mean as much to you anymore, but that's supposed to be the perfect moment." Tears dripped down my cheek. "It was supposed to mean something... to be with someone I truly love. And you just took it then told me it meant _nothing_?"

"Phil, I..." his tense shoulder sagged, the color fading from his face.

"You don't want me anymore?" I sobbed, my heart pounding against my chest. I swallowed my sadness, wiping the tears away angrily.

"No! Well, yes, but I mean..."

"Fine. Just go."

"Phil -"

" _Go_." I snarled. He stared at me, his eyes silently pleading for a moment before he turned and silently ambled away. I watched straight-faced as his silhouette disappeared over the hill. And then I was alone.

 _Fireworks._

 _That's what I felt when we kissed._

 _All I saw in his eyes was a spark._

 _And now I feel numb._


	7. Side Quest

Dan's POV

Great.

Fucking great. Dan, you twat! You had one job: keep your friends, keep your boyfriend, don't piss off the bullies.

You've broken all these rules and it's only your second week.

"Oi, Howell!" I heard a deep, growling voice yell from behind the sports shack. I turned, hastily wiping a tear from my eye. Blinking away the haze, my eyes widened and I quickly began to back up.

Two of the thugs from before loomed over me, menacing grins curling just beneath their premature stubble. I laughed nervously and continued to inch away as they took a step towards me, until my foot got caught in a groove in the field and I fell backwards, landing with a thud.

The taller one chuckled. "Bad luck, Danny."

"Phil!" I screamed, causing one to lunge forward and cover my mouth with a thick, calloused palm. My eyes round with fear, I stared at where Phil was sat beneath the tree. His head slowly rose from his hands and he looked straight at me being pinned to the ground.

And seemingly didn't care.

"Shhh..." he cooed, "your little boyfriend isn't gonna save you. Oh, but what's this? That's right, you don't even have one anymore! He doesn't give a shit about you anymore." His accomplice smirked dumbly and grabbed me by the collar, dragging me into the shed. My cries were muffled by his hand until, not knowing what else to do, I bit down and he retracted it with an infuriated cry.

"What do you wanna do to him, Sam?"

The two of them fell silent for a moment, before a flicker of cruel invention burned in his eyes. "Let's see... how loud we can make him scream. So loud even his little fuckbuddy by the tree can hear it, okay? Then we'll see how much he cares."

"P-please... don't -"

I was silenced by the deafening crack of his hardened fist connecting with my jaw. I was flung backwards, hitting the wall and slumping to the ground. My head sunk down and tears streamed down my face. Weakly, I raised my arm and wiped away the blood that was pouring from my nose.

"That's just the beginning, Daniel."

I stood up slowly and nodded, facing him solemnly, the blood still flowing freely from my nose. "Go ahead. I deserve it. I'm glad..." I dabbed at my eyes and held the rest back, "I'm glad Phil doesn't care about me -"

I fell silent as the shed door swung open. My jaw fell open and the bullies let out fearful grunts as three figures appeared in the doorway. The vice principal stood panting, as if he had sprinted from his office, accompanied by a concerned drama teacher and an expressionless...

"Phil!" I sputtered gratefully, rushing over to them. Kare, as she had her students call her, placed an arm around me defensively.

"Sam, Josh, my office. Now."

The two of them glanced at each other nervously, before glaring at me. Sam leaned in close, causing me to wince. "This isn't over, Howell."

"You can't touch me." I spat, clenching my fist as the principal grabbed the two boys and ushered them out.

"You're right." Josh smirked, looking straight at Phil with a faint but ever-presently evil smile. And before I could say anything, Karen was leading me gently out, Phil following a ways behind.

Oh.

Oh no.

"Don't waste this opportunity," she muttered in my ear, and I stared up at her in confusion. Rolling her eyes, she tilted her head in a gesture to Phil, who was busy staring at the ground. "He came running straight to me. Without him, you'd be -"

"Thanks. I know, do you mind if I...?" She nodded her approval and let me go, walking quickly to put distance between us. I slowed down to Phil's pace and quickly joined him at his side. "Hey, Phil?"

He glanced up but said nothing. "Look... thank you for saving me. I'm really sorry I -"

"We're even now." he stated plainly, staring intently at me with his piercing yet oddly lifeless blue eyes.

"Wha -"

He stepped forward, and turned around so he was walking backwards and speaking to me. "We're even now. You saved me when we first met, and now I've saved you when we last speak." He turned away again, now several steps ahead of me. Karen had already vanished into the building.

"Phil, I-"

"Now you don't have to come to me for any favors. You don't have any excuse to talk to me." And with that, he gave a faint wave and jogged up the steps to the school.

Great.

Fucking great.

Okay, deep breaths, Dan. Deep breaths.

Thankfully, Karen had been waiting inside to help me get cleaned up before classes. A lot like Phil would, she dabbed on makeup, but this time we weren't trying to cover up the source. I didn't quite know what would come of Sam and Josh, but we anticipated at least a short suspension.

And now I was waiting, drumming my fingers along my own thighs as I simultaneously prayed my audition for the play would never happen and would be over with all at once.

PJ stepped out of the drama room, practically beaming. He walked right past me, too occupied by his still-shaking hands. "Peej?" I said softly, and his head shot up in shock.

"Dan?" he gasped, his smile fading.

"This is the first time I've seen you smile since..."

He nodded quickly. "Yeah, well, it's still tough..."he said awkwardly, rubbing his hands together, "y'know... realizing I ruined everything. But uh... I'm trying to move on..." He cleared his throat for a moment, followed by an abrupt silence. "Well, um, how are you and Phil?"

I bit my lip, shaking my head. "We're not..."

"Dating?"

"Friends." I corrected. "Like, at all."

Peej rubbed the back of his neck anxiously, sucking air through his teeth. "Sheesh, uh... god, I'm sorry. I feel like that's my fault."

I gulped, hastily changing the subject. It was my fault, after all. "So, who did you audition for?"

He shrugged. "I was thinking Paris or Benvolio, but I'm leaving it up to her. Any male character is fine, I'm just really glad you convinced me to try out at all...who are you going in for?"

"Romeo or Julius probably. How did Chris do?"

PJ smirked. "He nailed it, as always. I can guarantee he's getting Mercutio." I nodded and opened my mouth to reply, but stopped as a muffled 'next' was shouted from behind the door. "You're up, hotshot. Good luck." He patted me on the back as I headed in, inhaling deeply to calm my nerves.

Oh god. Oh god. No, Dan, for the last time you cannot sing Bop To The Top. just recite your damn lines, you numpty.

Karen smiled at me from her chair, glancing down to quickly jot down one final note. "Alright, Dan, who will you be auditioning for?"

I cleared my throat, trying desperately to ignore my increasingly clammy palms. "Romeo! O-or Julius, either one will do. But, I'm doing Romeo's lines..." She nodded and opened up her copy of the script, nodding gently.

"Splendid. Whenever you're ready."

"U-um..." I closed my eyes, drawing one last deep breath. "But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Julius is the sun..." Though my entire body was consumed by fear, I pictured Phil's innocent grin as we watched Deathnote together, curled up in my blankets. I felt better. More confident.

"Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon..." I thought of PJ, and the terror and hurt in his eyes when I pinned him to the wall. "Who is already sick and pale with grief..."

And Phil's eyes, glowing with hope. Why was that light gone?

"That thou his servant art far more fair than he."

I swallowed my anxiety and shakily lowered my hands to my side. Karen stared at me in awe, a lip-glossed grin spread across her lips, and slowly began to clap. "Brilliant, bloody brilliant!"

"R-really?" I stammered in shock, to which she nodded vigorously.

"To be honest, since the change to the script, a lot of potential Romeo's backed out because of their reputations... but I still had a fair number of emerging LGBTQ students try out and none of them showed even a sliver of the emotion you did. It's like you're truly in love..."

I felt a flutter in my chest and blushed. "T-thank you. I think I am."


End file.
